


Conflicting in My Heart

by StarOfLife



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Slight Obsession, crumbling relationship, regection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-20 01:41:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/579909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarOfLife/pseuds/StarOfLife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Loki's attempted takeover, Clint has his mind back. Yet he finds himself constantly thinking of Loki. About his emerald eyes, his face, his lithe body, and those long deft fingers..</p>
<p>A story in which Clint struggles with his love. Natasha finds out, Clint gets mad, there's angst, and Loki doesnt feel the same way</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conflicting in My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based off a prompt on Norsekink.

Clint gasps as he wakes with a jolt, sitting up he attempts to calm his breath and keep quiet. His eyes have just begun to adjust when he hears Natasha moving around in her bed before mumbling tiredly, "Clint?.. Did you have another nightmare?"

Clint looks over in her direction and answers a bit to quickly with "Yeah, but i-its nothin'," and waits until he hears her rustling again to go back to sleep. He continues to wait until he's sure that she's fallen asleep before getting up and ripping his sheets off the his bed. As he makes his way to the laundry hamper, he wishes that they were bad dreams.

Who'd have thought you could have wet dreams after your teenage years? He wants to blame Loki, say that it was something that never left his mind after coming out of the mind-control, but deep inside its not any part of it. He feels bad for the rest of the team, they all think he's being haunted by nightmares and memories, and Natasha thinks he just hasn't been the same. It's true that he hasn't been the same since then, but its not nightmares that keep him up all night, or in the shower for hours. Clint feels a pang of guilt thinking about Natasha, she had tried so hard to be there for him and he just kept pushing her away. What would she say if she knew that when they sleep together, his mind wanders. He imagines her with jet black hair and a cruel taunting tongue, and it takes all Clint has not to moan out for Loki when he comes. He wants to blame Loki so much, and he wishes that when he woke in the night he wouldn't wake Natasha, because it kills him to see her look at him with a look she only gives him and then sighs, exhausted and defeated.

He feels his mind slip into another memory under Loki's control as he starts up a steaming shower...

~~~

Loki had always treated Clint different from all the other... slaves? minions? Regardless of what they were to him, Clint knows he was different to Loki. He remembers once when he'd come back from a side mission, beaten and bloodied, hobbling into their hideaway. Clint's mission had gone horribly wrong, and he had severely under-estimated his opponent, and was paying for it now. Clint had feared upon his return he'd be punished for his pathetic failure.

But he didn't punish him. In fact, when he had first returned Loki barely batted an eye towards him, asking what happened while he looked at his nails and played with his hair casually. Clint explained everything, and by the end of his story he noticed Loki's gaze had wandered to him.

Loki had scoffed and called Clint a "foolish child," and to "come here and stop bleeding on my floor," before grabbing him by the arm and lead him away from the others. It took Clint a minute to realize they were heading into Loki's private quarters. He looked at Loki with worried eyes, but it seemed Loki wasn't paying him any mind, continuing on without so much as a side glance. Once they had walked through a large door though, much of his weariness had left him.

Loki had sat him down on the floor, pointed a finger at him to "stay put", before leaving through another door. Clint took the time to take a look at Loki's private area. No one else had been allowed in, except Selvig.. once, and he ended up running out as if he'd seen the devil himself. It was a nice enough room, very simple, but also..homey? It seemed almost painfully bare, a small table in the corner and a large bed in the center. The bed made up most of the decor as well, with large bare white pillows, a matching fluffy white comforter, and what looked like green satin sheets. Clint frowned at the thought of Loki sleeping on that huge bed, all by himself, while everyone else busted their asses and had to take turns with pallets on the cold floor.

When Loki had come back in, Clint had been thinking about how many people could actually fit on that bed, and he concluded.. about five. Loki had taken Clint by the arm again and pulled him into the other room. Clint was shocked to see it was the bathroom, with a steaming bath already drawn. He looked at Loki confused, before saying "Thank you," Loki hated it whenever his 'good deeds' went unnoticed. Clint stood, still and sore, waiting for Loki to leave him to the bath, but Loki only watched him with a cocked eyebrow.

After a few moments of silence, Loki gave a hard sigh, asking to no one in particular "Must I do everything myself?" before stepping forward and unbuttoning his shirt. Clint didn't really move any, a part of being under control, not wanting to disobey Loki. After his shirt is unbuttoned, Loki is careful in taking it off, his fingers delicately pulling the fabric off. He removes the rest of his blood covered clothes with the same care. Once he's standing there completely nude, he instinctly covers his manhood, and Loki chuckles lightly before telling him to get in.

Clint doesn't think its funny, but he quickly obeys Loki's command. He begins to sink down into the steaming water, and groans at how good it feels against his sore muscles. Once he's fully seated in the bath, he leans back, tilting his head back. It doesn't dawn on him that he forgot Loki was there with him, until he feels water being poured over his head. He jerks forward and looks at Loki, glaring slightly. Loki for the most part ignores his glares, only saying "Do not be cross with me," before pouring another cup full of water on his scalp. He shivers once he feels a cold liquid, thicker than the water and it takes him longer than it should realize that its shampoo. 

It feels so great, feeling Loki's fingers massaging his scalp and working the soap into a thick lather. Before he pours water again, Loki decides to give warning "cover your eyes and tilt your head back,". After his hair is washed to Loki's liking, his fingers go lower, using the shampoo to wash the rest of his body. When Loki's deft fingers reach his upper thighs, Clint shifts a little, uncomfortable. It goes unnoticed to Loki, who only continues to rub softly. It isn't sensual at all to Loki, who looks completely focused, but Clint has to bite back a moan and hope Loki's fingers dont brush against his stiffening manhood.

~~~

Clint openly moans, knowing he and Natasha are the only one on this floor, and no one will here him. He grasps himself in his hand and begins to stroke. He's already painfully hard, and it won't take long at all for him to come. Thinking back at the memory of Loki bathing him, Clint thinks that is when his attraction, his love for Loki is awakened. He wishes that back then, Loki would have touched his manhood, weather on purpose or accident and to hell with the shame.

He closes his eyes and thinks about those beautiful fingers, tracing innate designs up his cock before palming him softly. Clint imagines that Loki would use his thumb to go over the slit of his cock, and would grasp him harder, pumping him fast. The thought that finally pushes him over the edge is thinking about Loki's mouth on him, and when Clint comes he moans his name, and in his fantasy Loki swallows every last drop that Clint has to offer.


End file.
